I fired my personal assistant. I got worried she was a spy for the CIA using my ho-hum life as a front. Bumbling around working for me, a Kentucky grandmother on Medicare, she was respectably dull and invisible, ready to take on any ISIS terrorists who may have penetrated the frozen foods section of my local Kroger.
If not an undercover agent, however, she certainly was the most incompetent assistant in history. Or maybe the most impertinent.