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Today's News

  • It's in the Bible: Big babies need to grow up

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A redneck making his first skydive was falling through the air, unable to get his parachute to open. Try as he might, it wasn’t budging. In a panic, he yelled to a fellow who was flying up toward him: “Hey buddy, do do you know anything about parachutes?”

    “No,” the fellow responded. “Do you know anything about propane stoves?”

  • Don’t put a period where God has put a comma

    The last time we visited the church we like in Tampa, the pastor’s message was titled, “Let’s Eat Grandma — the Importance of Punctuation.”

    My first reaction was, “Hmmm. Punctuation? Really?”

    He spoke about commas.

    I’m a word person and I know a little bit about grammar and punctuation, although not much. And commas always throw me off.

  • Local Church News | Jan. 6, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    We are back on schedule after the holidays. Bible study and Rock Stars meet at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays.

    The deacons will meet at 8 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 6.

    There will be a baby shower for Shelby Carter at 4 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 10 at the church. Shelby is having a boy and is registered at Wal-Mart and Babies R’ Us.

    The ladies fellowship will be at 9 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 16. Please come and bring a friend!

  • Lady Rebels dominate with win over Bellevue

    The Owen County Lady Rebels gave their coach an early Christmas present last Tuesday night. The team easily defeated Bellevue 60-27 in Owenton. 

    Alex Clifton scored 25 points and grabbed 14 rebounds as Owen County dominated the visitors on Tuesday night to pick up their third straight win after dropping five in a row. The win sent the Lady Rebels into a Christmas break with a record of 4-5 overall. 

  • Rebels win two, but fall to Ballard in consolation final

    If the Owen County Rebels did not already know it, they learned last week that they can compete with the best teams across Kentucky. 

    The team took on Fairdale in the first game of the consolation bracket last Monday. The Rebels led 29-21 at intermission and extended the lead to 50-36 at the end of the third quarter. The Bulldogs would rally in the fourth quarter, but the Rebels would hang on to win 63-56. 

  • Firefighters exhibit selflessness, create assurance amid tragedy

    It has been said that volunteer firefighters are unpaid not because they are worthless, but because they are priceless.

    Up until the 1800s, fighting fires was done by volunteers, and fire equipment was rudimentary.

    In colonial towns, fire buckets had the owners name painted on them, and laws required town residents to purchase their own buckets and keep them repaired.

  • What’s your 2015 story?

    It’s hard to believe that 365 days have come and gone since families across America huddled around televisions last year to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Now is a perfect time to reflect on everything that has happened this year and how to look forward to the next 366 days. Yes, it’s a leap year.

  • A successful Christmas on the Branch

     Well, It’s all over but the rain. Wanda said the Halls had moved into their new home. Randell told her it hadn’t been easy because of all the rain and mud, getting the foundation ready, but he managed and they made it by Christmas. I am sure they are happy to be out of the small camper they had been living in. Landscaping will have to wait till spring. 

  • Redneck passenger lacks basic understanding of aeronautics

    ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

     Fifteen minutes into a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take a half hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

  • Even with a terrible memory, there are some things to remember

    Editor’s note: Nancy Kennedy is taking a break for the holidays. This column first ran in 2011.

    I have been blessed with a terrible memory.

    It’s a blessing because I don’t remember things that haunt other people with better memories. I can’t remember most of the fights I’ve had with my husband or kids, or hurtful things people have said or done.