Today's Features

By ROGER ALFORD
N-H Columnist

It was the last day of school and all the kindergarten students were giving gifts to their teacher.

The florist’s son handed her a beautifully wrapped box. The teacher felt it and said, “I bet I know what this is. Flowers.”

“That’s right,” the little boy said. “But how did you know?”

“Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

BY JENEEN WICHE
Weekend Gardener

Mulch has become a landscape staple, almost to a fault when it is over applied, smothering roots and girdling trunks. When done properly is can help to suppress weeds, retain moisture and moderate temperature. These things can be achieved using a variety of materials but which type of mulch suits your needs best?

What a beautiful weekend – warm, sunny and a pleasant breeze for a change from the howling winds we have been having.

The hunting shack’s parking area was full of pickups. I knew there must be some kind of hunting season. I asked Tim Chisholm at church what they were hunting now and he said turkey, but he countered with a question of his own, “Did you hear that big boom as you were coming to church?”

BY ROGER ALFORD
N-H Columnist

There’s the tale about the death row inmate who had been strapped into the electric chair, and the warden was ready to flip the switch.

“Do you have any last requests?” the warden asked the prisoner.

“All I ask is that you hold my hand,” the prisoner said.

Every farm kid who has had exposure to electric fences knows just what would happen if the warden were to hold that man’s hand when the switch was thrown.