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Religion

  • Local Church News | Jan. 20, 2016

    Cedar Hill Baptist

    Bro. Bill’s message was from Mark 1:14-15 on believing and sharing the gospel.  If we walk with Jesus we have good news to share and our hope is in Christ.

    ARC will resume at 6 p.m. Wednesday, weather permitting. We’ve missed our time with our young people on Wednesday evenings and look forward to seeing them soon.

    The Capital City Boys will be with us to share their musical gifts, followed by a time of food and fellowship at 4 p.m. on Sunday. Please come join us for this special time.

  • Shoplifting peas can get you a vacation in jail

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A judge asked a woman who had been arrested for shoplifting a can of peaches why she had done it.

    “Because I was hungry, and I wanted something to eat,” she replied.

    The judge then asked how many peaches were in the can. She responded: “two.”

    “Then I’ll give you two days in jail,” the judge said.

    That’s when her husband quickly spoke up: “Your honor, she also stole a can of peas.”

  • Why can’t we just have Jesus? Isn’t he enough?

    My husband and I started a tradition a few years ago of attending Christmas Eve service at a church we’ve never attended before.

    That can be good and that can be not so good.

    Last year we went to a church in Orlando after hearing great things about it. We were flying out the next day from Orlando to visit our daughter who was in North Carolina at the time, so we decided to make Christmas Eve into a mini extravaganza with church, dinner afterwards, a walk downtown and a night at an Orlando hotel overlooking Lake Eola.

  • Local Church News | Jan. 13, 2016

    Elk Lick Baptist Church

    Bro. John and Vickie were visiting friends, so Bro. Marlow and Mary were with us Sunday.

    Bro. Marlow’s sermon was on Matthew 16:13-18. Jesus was fully human and he was fully God and even though we do not understand it, it is by faith we accept it.

    We had communion today. Louise Johnson sang “A Wonderful Life.” We had a wonderful fellowship meal after the service.

  • It's in the Bible: Big babies need to grow up

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A redneck making his first skydive was falling through the air, unable to get his parachute to open. Try as he might, it wasn’t budging. In a panic, he yelled to a fellow who was flying up toward him: “Hey buddy, do do you know anything about parachutes?”

    “No,” the fellow responded. “Do you know anything about propane stoves?”

  • Don’t put a period where God has put a comma

    The last time we visited the church we like in Tampa, the pastor’s message was titled, “Let’s Eat Grandma — the Importance of Punctuation.”

    My first reaction was, “Hmmm. Punctuation? Really?”

    He spoke about commas.

    I’m a word person and I know a little bit about grammar and punctuation, although not much. And commas always throw me off.

  • Local Church News | Jan. 6, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    We are back on schedule after the holidays. Bible study and Rock Stars meet at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays.

    The deacons will meet at 8 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 6.

    There will be a baby shower for Shelby Carter at 4 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 10 at the church. Shelby is having a boy and is registered at Wal-Mart and Babies R’ Us.

    The ladies fellowship will be at 9 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 16. Please come and bring a friend!

  • Redneck passenger lacks basic understanding of aeronautics

    ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

     Fifteen minutes into a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take a half hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

  • Even with a terrible memory, there are some things to remember

    Editor’s note: Nancy Kennedy is taking a break for the holidays. This column first ran in 2011.

    I have been blessed with a terrible memory.

    It’s a blessing because I don’t remember things that haunt other people with better memories. I can’t remember most of the fights I’ve had with my husband or kids, or hurtful things people have said or done.

  • Local Church News | Dec. 30. 2015

    Elk Lick Baptist Church

    The sermon for the fourth Sunday of Advent was titled “For God So Loved Us.” Bonnie Glass and Hannah Adams lit the candle of hope and expectation. Ashley and Sarah Young lit the candle of joy. The Perkins family lit the candle of love. Jesus gives us hope and expectation.

    Bonnie Woodyard sang “Mary, Did You Know?” while Louise Johnson sang the “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

    Happy birthday to William Paul Elliston and William Gage Elliston.