.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....

Religion

  • It's in the Bible: Big babies need to grow up

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A redneck making his first skydive was falling through the air, unable to get his parachute to open. Try as he might, it wasn’t budging. In a panic, he yelled to a fellow who was flying up toward him: “Hey buddy, do do you know anything about parachutes?”

    “No,” the fellow responded. “Do you know anything about propane stoves?”

  • Don’t put a period where God has put a comma

    The last time we visited the church we like in Tampa, the pastor’s message was titled, “Let’s Eat Grandma — the Importance of Punctuation.”

    My first reaction was, “Hmmm. Punctuation? Really?”

    He spoke about commas.

    I’m a word person and I know a little bit about grammar and punctuation, although not much. And commas always throw me off.

  • Local Church News | Jan. 6, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    We are back on schedule after the holidays. Bible study and Rock Stars meet at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays.

    The deacons will meet at 8 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 6.

    There will be a baby shower for Shelby Carter at 4 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 10 at the church. Shelby is having a boy and is registered at Wal-Mart and Babies R’ Us.

    The ladies fellowship will be at 9 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 16. Please come and bring a friend!

  • Redneck passenger lacks basic understanding of aeronautics

    ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

     Fifteen minutes into a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take a half hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

  • Even with a terrible memory, there are some things to remember

    Editor’s note: Nancy Kennedy is taking a break for the holidays. This column first ran in 2011.

    I have been blessed with a terrible memory.

    It’s a blessing because I don’t remember things that haunt other people with better memories. I can’t remember most of the fights I’ve had with my husband or kids, or hurtful things people have said or done.

  • Local Church News | Dec. 30. 2015

    Elk Lick Baptist Church

    The sermon for the fourth Sunday of Advent was titled “For God So Loved Us.” Bonnie Glass and Hannah Adams lit the candle of hope and expectation. Ashley and Sarah Young lit the candle of joy. The Perkins family lit the candle of love. Jesus gives us hope and expectation.

    Bonnie Woodyard sang “Mary, Did You Know?” while Louise Johnson sang the “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

    Happy birthday to William Paul Elliston and William Gage Elliston.

  • Lusby's Mill man learns to respect wife's right hook

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    Three Kentucky men were sitting around the general store talking about issues they have with their wives and how they had resolved them.

  • Christmas is God’s answer to our pleas for fixing pain and sorrow

    BY NANCY KENNEDY
    Grace Notes

    Years ago I read about a college student in the middle of final exams, distracted and distraught because her mother was ill and she wanted to be home with her.

    The mom assured her daughter that she was fine, that she would be OK. 

    After her last exam, the college student raced home, and as she walked in to see her mom, her mom opened her eyes, smiled -- and died.

  • Local church news | Dec. 23, 2015

    Cedar Hill Baptist Church

    Great message Sunday morning on the “Gifts of Christmas” taken from Isaiah 7:14 and 9:6-7. Jesus brought the gifts of wisdom, power, and peace to us if we call upon Him to be our shepherd.

    We delivered our Christmas stockings Sunday evening.  

    There will not be ARC tonight. It will resume Jan. 6.

    Remember to bring new tennis shoes, any size, by Jan. 10.  

  • Local Church News | Dec. 16, 2015

    Cedar Hill Baptist Church

    Bro. Bill’s message was from Matthew 2:1-12 called “Returning a New Way.”  He shared how the wise men enjoyed their purposeful journey and after seeing Jesus came back home new people.  Ronnie share the song “Lord, Please Come Down to Me.”