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Religion

  • Will you leave through the attic or the basement?

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A stingy old fellow who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to take his money with him to heaven.

    He instructed his wife to take his money out of the bank and fill up two pillow cases and to put those pillow cases in the attic, directly above his bed.

    That way, when he died, he reasoned he could grab the money on his way up to heaven.

    After the funeral, the man’s wife went into the attic, and there were the pillow cases, still stuffed with cash.

  • Are we really doing a good job of being ambassadors for Christ?

    Ask a group of restaurant servers which is their least favorite shift to work and their number one answer will be Sunday after church.

    It seems we churchgoers are a cranky bunch when we’re hungry, and that’s putting it politely.

    Their consensus of us is that we’re demanding and rude. We sit in large groups and stay longer than we should, discussing the morning’s sermon (or latest church gossip) and commenting on the heathens at the nearby table drinking Bloody Marys.

  • Local Church News | Feb. 24, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    Congratulations to Foster and Gerry Smith on celebrating 50 years of marriage Feb. 16!

    Adult Bible study will not be held Wednesday night this week, but come join us in Gallatin County supporting our basketball players and cheerleaders in the district tournament. Go Rebels!

    If there is no school on a Wednesday, then Rock Stars will not meet Wednesday evening.

    The youth meet at 5 p.m. on Sundays.

  • Best friends are those you can talk to without words

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    The funniest story of the week has to be about the fellow who approached his pastor to ask him to pray about his hearing.

    Instantly, that pastor laid both hands on that fellow’s head, and began praying. When the pastor finished praying, he looked at the fellow and said: “Now how’s your hearing.”

    “I don’t know,” the fellow responded. “It’s not until Thursday.”

  • When I’m in love with me, there’s no room for anyone else, even God

    “Dear Me,

    You are the most awesome-est thing that has ever walked on this earth. Love, Me” -- found on the Internet

    Just when you think you’ve heard everything, something new comes along that causes you to shake your head in curious amazement.

    According to a Charisma News report, sologamy is on the rise as the latest marriage trend.

    It seems that people, mostly women, are marrying themselves, often in elaborate ceremonies with a bridal gown, bridesmaids, guests, a reception -- and a honeymoon.

  • Local Church News | Feb. 17, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    Welcome to the newest member of the MBC family, Campbell Carter. Congratulations to Shelby, Nick, Carson, Cooper and all the Carter family!

    If there is no school on a Wednesday, then Rock Stars will not meet on Wednesday evening.

    The youth meet at 5 p.m. Sundays.

    MBC’s volleyball team plays at the gym at First Baptist Church in Owenton. They play at 8:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 22, and at 6:30 p.m., Monday, Feb. 29. Come out and support our team.

  • Would you sell your parrot to the town gossip?

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    Will Rogers, the humorist from a generation ago, said lots of funny things in his day, including this ditty:

    “When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa did. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

  • People forgive others freely when they know they are forgiven

    Recently I spent time with some people who are homeless.

    I had met some of them while tagging along at the annual county-wide housing count, which is another way to say homeless count.

    Every year, people who care go out and find the people who live in the woods or in their cars or sleep in abandoned buildings and get as much information about them as they can.

    People who care want to meet these people’s immediate and ongoing needs with tents and blankets and stoves, and also their long-term needs.

  • Local Church News | Feb. 10, 2016

    Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church

    “I Am Not Alone” was Carla Marston’s special in song Sunday morning.  The choir also sang “Worthy of Worship.”  Bro. Dale’s sermon was based on 2 Corinthians 4:1-12. 

    Thanks to everyone who made our “Super Bowl of Chili and Soup” a success!  All had a great time in fellowship.

  • A picture is now worth only 100 words

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    Some anonymous wise guy took to the Internet to discuss the economy, saying it’s so bad that: