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Religion

  • We envy others because we are the ones who want to be envied

    Just when I think I’m not so bad, something happens to show me that I am so bad – bad to my rotting bones.

    There’s this person.

    For some reason I feel an intense, irrational, utterly petty competitiveness with her, even though we’re not competitors in any area whatsoever. Frankly, I don’t think she even knows who I am, but I sure know who she is.

    I make it my business to know her business and am giddy with glee whenever something goes even a little bit askew in her life.

  • Man can easily determine gender of flies he swats

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.

    “What are you doing?” she asked.

    “I’m swatting flies,” he said. “So far, I’ve gotten three males and two females.”

    Puzzled, his wife asked how he knew which gender they were.

    “That’s easy,” he explained. “Three were on my recliner, and the other two were on the telephone.”

  • In the midst of hardship, as long as we have serenity, we are OK

    I’ve been thinking a lot about the Serenity Prayer.

    That’s the one that goes: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    Although the prayer is often attributed to St. Francis, it was written in 1926 by Reinhold Niebuhr, a Lutheran theologian.

    Fun fact: Niebuhr also wrote one of my favorite quotes about humor being the “prelude to faith” and laughter being the “beginning of prayer.”

  • Local Church News | July 27, 2016

    Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church

    Flo Parker inspiringly sang, “All on the Altar.”  “Til the Storm Passes By” was sung by the choir, led by Barry Winkle. Congratulations to Angie Weddle on her profession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ!  She will be baptized during worship on Sunday, Aug. 28. Bro. Dale’s sermon, “Jailhouse Rock- Part One” from Acts 16 showed us how the jailer’s actions and attitudes changed when he got saved.

  • Nothing quite like peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches

    BY ROGER ALFORD
    N-H Columnist

    A little boy opened his lunchbox and, peeking inside, saw a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich smeared with mayonnaise and ketchup.

    “Oh, another of these crazy sandwiches,” he sighed as he pulled it out and took a big bite.

    The next day, the little boy opened his lunch box and exclaimed: “Won’t you look at this, another one of those peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches smeared with mayonnaise and ketchup.”

  • The Age of Outrage - let's end it with love and forgiveness, not rock throwing

    On Dec. 8, 2014, no one got eaten alive on the Discovery Channel’s “Eaten Alive” – and some viewers who tuned in to see carnage were outraged.

    On May 6 of the same year, actress Shailene Woodley outraged feminists by announcing that she’s not a feminist, and on Aug. 28, Hello Kitty fans were outraged when the Sanrio company said Hello Kitty “is not a cat.”

  • Local Church News | July 20, 2016

    Cedar Hill Baptist Church

    We were greatly blessed today as Ben Allen shared God’s Word with us. Using scriptures from Mark and John, he challenged us to answer the question “What do our lives say Christianity is?” We too often fall into the trap of sharing our religion instead of Christ. Sometimes we know all the “churchy answers” but we don’t truly know Christ. It was great to have Helen Allen and Mary Cobb and her family back worshipping with us today.

  • Quarantined man put on bologna and cheese diet

    BY ROGER ALFORD

    I heard this week about the fellow who went to the doctor and found out he had a very contagious disease. The doctor told him he was going to have to be quarantined and put on a bologna and see diet.

    “I understand being quarantined,” the fellow said. “But how is a bologna and cheese diet supposed to help me?”

    “It’s not that bologna and cheese will help you,” the doctor said. “That’s just the only food that will fit under the door.”

  • All Christians have some sin they hate, sin that brings them to their knees

    Ten years ago I wrote: “My friend Mike ate breakfast last week, which is nothing short of a miracle.

    “He doesn’t shake anymore or wake up in the middle of the night sweating. The little green monkeys that haunt him are gone too.”

    This week, my friend Mike is celebrating 10 years being sober. Not just sober, but healed and forgiven, whole and hopeful. He’s tasted the mercy of God, felt his hand of grace that pulled him from the abyss.

  • Local Church News | July 13, 2016

    Monterey Baptist Church

    If you haven’t returned your baby bottle for Avenues for Women clinic, please do so as soon as possible. Please return all bottles whether or not they are filled.

    The monthly planning meeting will be at 7 p.m., Tuesday, July 19. Everyone is encouraged to attend.

    A Night of Prayer will begin at 7 p.m., Saturday, July 23 at the church. This is a time for the church to come together for corporate prayer, as well as individual prayer.

    Adult Bible study meets at 7 p.m. on Wednesdays.