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Presenting the 2010 Golden Gobblers

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By Brian Blair

Thanksgiving is full of traditions. There is turkey, dressing, football, uncles asleep in recliners, indigestion, and oh yeah, pumpkin pie.

 I have also begun another Thanksgiving tradition. In case you have not caught on, this is now my third installment of the Golden Gobble Awards celebrating the biggest turkeys in sports for the past year. Well, not exactly celebrating but rather ridiculing and maybe even making fun of.

The Golden Gobble for Team That Resembles an NFL Franchise goes to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Once again, yours truly bought into the hype that the Bengals were going to have a good season and maybe challenge for a second AFC North title in as many years.

Wrong.

Buying into Bengals hype is sort of like buying into the stock market. It seems like it might make sense and you even have days that are better than others but then reality sets in and you discover you’re investing your time and maybe even your money into a loser.

Why do we continue to watch and root? I don’t know. Probably for the same reason we watch infomercials. We think it seems really cool only to spend our $19.99 finding out we got ripped off and just like that creepy dude on the Sham-wow commercials, Mike Brown, goes laughing all the way to the bank.

My next Golden Gobble is awarded the I Wanna Talk About Me Man of the Year. Congratulations, LeBron James. Just for you, I thought about writing an entire column in your honor. I even thought I might buy up an hour on public access television to make my “decision” on who would take home this award. I reconsidered when I realized that might be a little over the top.

Is LeBron a great player? I guess, but I do have one piece of advice for the so called “King.” Why not, instead of spending so much time off the court telling me how great you are, do something on the court, like win a championship, and prove it.

My final Golden Gobble for the Person I Would Least Like My Kid to Model His Life After goes to Tiger Woods.

It was a year ago this weekend when we heard about a car accident involving Eldrick.

At first, we worried if he was going to be okay and how it would affect his golf game. Then as the details began to emerge we learned that Tiger might not be the person we thought he was.

Have other athletes fallen from grace? Sure, but I am not sure any have taken the tumble that Tiger took this past year. I am pretty sure he has learned his lesson and that this incident will help him be a better person. I would imagine that in the midst of these trying times for him, he can reflect on his new life and on how he can be a better man and role model.

By the way, if you haven’t heard, he just purchased a new $50 million estate in Florida. I guess those child support payments aren’t cutting into his budget too much.

There you have it. I hope you have enjoyed another edition of the Golden Gobble Awards. Be on the lookout in the coming year as we watch and wait for who will be in the running for next year’s honors.