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A helping hand to a banker brother in Dubia

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By Georgia Green Stamper

Greetings From Dubai,

This message might meet you in (utmost surprise), however, it’s just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from United Arab Emirates and currently holding the post of director auditing and accounting unit of the bank.

I have the opportunity of transfering (sic) the left over funds, $17.5 million, our bank deceased customer late Richard Burson, who died on (Egypt Air Flight 990) along with his family on a plane crash below. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/502503.stm.

Hence I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 50/50 as a brotherhood.

If you agree to my business proposal further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as i receive your return mail.

Respectfully yours

Mr.Kazim Obaid

Dear Mr. Kazim Obaid (may I call you KO?)

First, let me just say right off that your e-mail did indeed come as an (utmost surprise) to me. But having picked myself up off the floor, KO, I hasten to add that it could not have arrived at a more fortuitous moment. You can’t imagine how many places I have to put 8.75 million dollars. We need a new roof and a new upstairs furnace at the Lexington house, and the Owen County farm needs a ga-zillion miles of new fence and the grandchildren all want to go to Disney World and then Christmas is coming. Well, ha-ha, I guess I don’t have to tell you that 8 plus million dollars just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Oh, but I’m forgetting myself, KO. Those poor people who died in the plane crash, Mr. Burson and his family! How tragic. And to think they left no will and no heirs. I can only imagine the grief you’ve endured, and the stress this situation has placed on you. I know it must be very trying to find someone with enough brotherhood in their hearts to take half of this money off your hands. Well, KO, you’ve e-mailed the right random person in the old US of A. Though I am a sister - not a brother per se - brotherhood bubbles through my veins like the milk of kindness. I am going to help you! E-mail me back asap and let me know how I can be of service.

Sincerely yours,

Georgia (being as how we’re in the brotherhood together now, I’m hoping first names are OK with you, KO)

Dear KO,

I have received your reply, but sadly must inform you that I cannot free up $100,000 to deposit in a joint bank account in your name and mine at my local bank. Times are hard here in Kentucky, KO, and the banks, well, they aren’t in the mood to lend much money. Yes, yes – I know this will make it impossible for you to transfer Mr. Burson’s estate amounting to 17.5 million dollars from a Dubai bank to our joint account at Owenton First and Peoples. I know that I am losing out on the chance of a lifetime. I am resigned to that. Actually, to tell you the truth, I’m not sure I could fit in with the rich. Thin doesn’t come natural to me, and I doubt I could get the hang of playing polo. But I digress – I still think I can help you! Yesterday, I received an e-mail out of the blue (talk about providence! talk about serendipity!) from a Mr. Benjamin Hark of Nigeria. He is the senior accounts director for offshore mortgage and services for Natwest Bank, London, and he is looking for a partner in a “profitable business investment.” Oh, KO, I just have a feeling about Ben Hark! I think he’s the answer to your prayers. I am copying his e-mail address on this message to you – you dear, dear man who has been through so much trying to settle this estate. Honestly, you’d think rich people would be more considerate and leave some sort of will, wouldn’t you? (Another reason I’d be uneasy hanging out with them – they can be so unthoughtful.)

But I want you to know that I really appreciate all you’ve tried to do for me, KO, and I wish you and Ben Hark the best of luck and good fortune going forward.

Warmest regards,

Your sister in the brotherhood - Georgia

P.S.  Would you have any interest in purchasing a bridge at Natlee, Kentucky? If so, let me know asap by return e-mail. I can get you a deal!