Getting ready to dance

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By Brian Blair

I am sure that when most people see that I am writing a column about getting ready to dance they will assume I am referring to March Madness – otherwise known as the “Big Dance.” The tournament is one of my favorite times of the year.

But I am not writing this about basketball. In fact, I write this column at the expense of my manhood.

OK, who I am trying to kid? And you can stop giggling.

I am not always the most romantic fellow. I understand what romance is and can even identify it in movies and television shows. When it comes to the execution of it, I am severely lacking. That is, until this past Christmas.

I wasn’t sure what to get my wife. What do you get the woman who has everything? So I decided I would look into getting her dance lessons. I made some phone calls and decided to go with a certain studio in Northern Kentucky that shall remain nameless. (For a fee I am sure they could sponsor this column but I can’t just hand out free advertising.)

For a reasonable amount of money, I purchased two private lessons and two group lessons. Actually, for what I paid I could also double dip and count the lessons as an anniversary and birthday present. That’s me – always looking ahead.

So we went to our first lesson a few weeks ago. We made a night of it and went out to dinner first. We got to the studio and met our instructor. She was very nice and even knew some people from Owenton. For the next 45 minutes, she taught us a few steps and it was a good time.

No problem. In fact, I can honestly say that I had fun. Then we went back the second time for a group lesson. This was a whole new ball game.

My wife and I joined about 10 other couples to learn the merengue. I went into the lesson thinking that the merengue was the topping that went on a lemon pie. The lesson was going well and I was again having a good time. Then I heard the word that sent chills up my spine. The instructor shouted out “rotate.” At that moment, my wife left me and went to dance with another man while a complete stranger began walking towards me. I was terrified.

I am not real comfortable dancing with my wife in public and now I am being forced to do it with someone I don’t even know. What happened to dancing with the one who brought you?

I survived the night and have gone back for another group lesson. On that night, we learned how to rumba.

Now let me just say that I am in no way ready for Dancing With the Stars. In fact, we don’t even watch the show. We finished our last lesson and we may actually go back and take a few more.

Guys, it has been a fun experience and if you are looking for something fun and romantic to do with your wife, you may want to check out dance lessons. Believe me, if I can do it anyone can.

That reminds me. While I sit in my big chair and watch basketball this weekend, maybe Billy Gillispie and Kentucky could take a few dance lessons themselves. Does anyone know what channel the NIT is on?