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Cooking up some Golden Gobble Awards

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By Brian Blair

It is a tough time to be a turkey. With Thanksgiving just hours away, Toms everywhere are sweating. Many have spent the last few weeks looking for the perfect weight-loss plan in hopes of missing the ultimate cut.

Turkeys have not been the only ones losing their heads lately. There have been people losing theirs in the world of sports during the past year. I am here to call them out.

That’s right. It is once again time for my third annual Golden Gobble Awards. There are many who are worthy, including Andre Agassi and his book-selling confession. Out of control soccer players at New Mexico State were considered. In the end, I narrowed my list down to three.

Start the music and pull back the curtain. And the winners are:

My first Golden Gobble Award this year goes to the Cincinnati Reds.

This is hard since the Reds have always been my favorite team. As my father used to say, “This is going to hurt me more than you.” It is only November, but the Reds have already put up the white flag for the 2010 season. The team has said that they don’t plan on spending any money to upgrade the team and may have to sell off some players before Spring Training. Does anyone have the number to the ticket office so I can get some season tickets? I am not a businessman, but I can’t imagine that telling the public your product is going to stink is a smart way to get people to invest in what you are selling.

My second Golden Gobble Award is presented to those in charge of college football.

When are they going to get a playoff? It is possible that four teams will finish the season unbeaten and yet only two of them are going to have the chance to play for the national championship. That makes sense? Don’t give me the excuse of fans not traveling and kids missing class. Since when did they care about students getting an education? How many basketball games are played on weeknights during the school year that don’t begin until 9 p.m. or later? How much money do they make off players by selling their jerseys? The names may not be on the back, but everyone knows who they are. Just be honest. They don’t want to have a playoff because they might lose a lot of corporate sponsorship from bowl games and the money that comes with it. It has nothing to do with doing what might be right or looking out for the student-athletes (or is it just athletes?).

My third Golden Gobble Award goes to an unnamed person I heard leaving an Owen County volleyball game earlier this season.

The “fan” that was there in support of another school accused the Lady Rebels of being classless and said they would never be back to another game at OCHS. Let me just say, nobody should ever accuse Amanda Borchers or her team of being classless. These girls have worked hard to put a good team on the court and even when times were tough and they were losing big they have always exhibited class. My only advice to this “fan” would be, if you don’t want to come back fine, but don’t accuse the volleyball team of something you obviously know nothing about.