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SPORTS
On
the Gridiron
—
Photos by TIM MANDELL
Above, a lineman works on form. The Rebels scrimmage at 6 p.m.
Friday at North Oldham. The season begins at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 18
at Dayton.
Friday
night fever
Gayheart
hoops it up this summer
Kicking
the ball around
Softball
tournament time
On
the sidelines
Breaking down the sports world
TIM
MANDELL
On Jeopardy a few weeks
ago, one of the contestants responded to a category asking what
free opportunity does a soccer play get after a foul by saying
“what is a free throw?”
None of the other contestants knew the answer, or the question,
depending on how you like to view the show.
It wouldn’t be so weird, or funny, or sad that she got the
soccer answer wrong, except for the fact that she later answered
two harder sports-related questions that I didn’t know.
But such is life.
We’re always learning, and when we know something, especially
something basic, it’s hard to understand how someone else,
much less three supposedly intelligent people, can stare silently
and stupidly at us, or give a ridiculous answer.
Knowing is everything.
My parents visited during the World Cup, and while watching games,
they bombarded me with a rapid fire succession of questions that
had answers that I felt were fairly obvious.
But they don’t watch soccer and they never played the game,
so why should they know what’s going on on the field.
Still, when you know the rules to a sport, and you know all the
players and the strategies and what not, it’s hard to believe
someone else sees nothing but a bunch of people in uniforms running
aimlessly around chasing after a ball or a puck of whatever.
How can a grown adult not understand the rules to a game I learned
as a kid?
How can an intelligent person be so baffled by the seemingly simplistic
rules of a sporting event?
Well, it happens.
It happens all the time.
Try watching a sporting event you know nothing about.
It’s completely confusing.
Cricket.
Rugby.
Polo.
These are all foreign to me.
And what about this indoor football league, where you can catch
a pass off the wall.
Huh?
Even hockey, which I had never even seen until I was about 22,
was completely confusing at first and I spent most of that first
season trying to understand the rules.
I didn’t understand the deal with the lines, or how offsides
worked, and I definitely couldn’t comprehend phrases like
“in the crease.”
I still don’t always quite understand what is and isn’t
a penalty.
Sports are pretty basic when you break them down, but I guess,
so is geometry, and I flunked that in high school.
So, just like the kid who understands all those geometry theories
that gave me headaches, I guess I can see the theories in sports,
and if sports was a class in high school, I would have aced it.
But much like geometry, when am I ever going to need to use my
sports expertise in real life.
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